New year, new you (literally this time!)

2018 is going to be interesting. I can't say I've had many boring years, in both good and bad ways; but I have to say this coming year is guaranteed to be life-changing in many ways.

On the 2nd of January (also known as 2 days from now), I'm going to be having what's called facial feminization surgery with Dr. Joel Beck of Bay Area Aesthetic Surgery. I won't go into too many specifics - in fact, if you're curious, Alexandra Hamer of Virtual FFS does a fantastic job explaining what it is and why it's a thing - but the gist is turning a male-looking face into a female-looking one. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder; but there's definitely mathematics and statistics to back up what makes a "male" face versus a "female" face. Ta-da.

"But wait Lily, you're so pretty/you look like a normal (probably not the best word to use) woman/why would you get plastic surgery"

Well, as a SoCal girl, I have to do it for cultural reasons, I mean are you even from LA if you don't get plastic surgery?

It's estimated that 10-30% of transgender women eventually get FFS, for various reasons. A big part of the transgender experience and identity is the goal/fear of passing - a nebulous concept of being seen as your identified gender. So if you're a trans woman, you would like to always be seen as an actual woman, not a simulation or a transitioning male or a man in woman's clothes. Same thing for female-to-male folks.

For most people who aren't transgender, passing comes as naturally as breathing, thanks to biology. Most men tend to look like men, and most women tend to look like women. We tend to make snap judgments of a person's gender within milliseconds, based on anything from hair to clothing to voice to mannerisms. It's unconscious.

Most trans women get FFS to aid in the goal of passing, since not passing tends to put you in an unwelcome bucket where you tend to be at the mercy of "what does [this person you're meeting] think of trans people?" Based on current politics, that can range from open or secret discrimination, to violence or verbal abuse. Not exactly a fun time.

I'm not ashamed to say I'm getting FFS to help that goal. Passing is an uphill battle for most of us, and lack of passing a fairly constant reminder of societal indifference/dislike and of course, gender dysphoria. I'll keep this blog updated as I heal and go through the surgery.

For the record, I'm doing the following:

  • Rhinoplasty (but that might also be a Jewish thing...)
  • Type II Forehead Recontouring/Eyebrow Lift/Hairline Advancement
  • Orbital Rim Reshaping
  • Genioplasty (shaping the chin bone)
  • Tracheal Shave (reduction of the Adam's Apple)
Stay cheerful lovelies, and have a great New Year.

P.S. Feel free to post questions in the comments or your own experiences with FFS. I'm hoping to make a blog post on getting it covered by insurance in the near future (I got mine covered out of network and I'm going to work with Anthem on this for general trans coverage - stay posted!)

- Lily/Lils/Lil (whatever my friends call me) ❤


Popular posts from this blog

On Vocal Training and the Holidays

Hello World! - Reflections